The One
by AD16
Summary: He was the one boy I could never figure out, no matter how hard I tried. Based on the song of the same title by Vanessa Carlton
1. Chapter 1

I packed the last of my bags into my car and slammed the trunk shut. It was finally summer, I could finally go home. I had 3 glorious months to look forward to working at my family's sub station and spending all my free time with Jason. My Jason, for two years now. He moved into my neighborhood when I was 17. He never took any of my crap, not then and not now. He was the one boy I could never figure out, no matter how hard I tried, like when he'd kiss me and then ignore me the next day at school, or ask me to prom and then spend the whole night dancing with other girls while I drank punch alone and pretended not to care, I could never show him that I cared. Besides, It was me who he always went home with at the end of the night, and it was me who took care of him when he drank too much, or just decided he needed me. I love Jason and I know somewhere in his heart, in his head, he loves me too. He has to.

As I approached home, I passed him walking with about ten grocery bags. He was stubborn, refused to get his own car, bad for the environment. He walked and rode his bike everywhere, unless I was in town, in which case I had to cart his ass everywhere. I liked to pretend he liked riding with me, or maybe his legs just got tired.

I rolled down my window.

"Hey loser!" I called and stuck my tongue out at him, I pulled over beside him and unlocked the passenger door. "Get in" I commanded. He smiled and hopped in my car, threw his bags in the back and leaned over and kissed me. "Thanks lady." he winked at me, sometimes he pretends he doesn't know me, it's cute, really.

He immediately changed the radio to our favorite indie show, he looked at me and started singing along, to the songs they always play, the songs that have been the soundtrack to every adventure we've ever gone on, those songs meant more to me than I can say. I rolled my eyes at him and started to drive again, he really is infectious, I started singing too. It's good to be home.

We arrived home and we ended up where we always do, I barely said hello to my parents before he rushed me upstairs and pushed me on my bed, he kissed me hot and heavy ,as always, he slipped off my shirt. This was routine, this was expected. He was my first months after we first met, I know I wasn't his but I hope I'm more than just a number to him. I'm different than the other girls he hooks up with, I am Alex Russo, not another NYC fake hipster, he _cares_ about me.

When he finished and he sat on my bed, pulling his clothes on piece by piece, I threw myself on his lap, still in my underwear and decided to bring up what we've talked about so many times before.

"When can I be your only, one and only?" I smiled, quoting one of our songs, but he knew I was asking. "Russo, you gotta wait till I see where I'm going, wait till I get my shit together." He sighed. "Why's it gotta be all or nothin' with you? I know you're sticking around for the long hull." He kissed me on the forehead, gently moved me from his lap, stood up and buttoned his jeans .He must think my time's for free. I reached for my own clothes, same answer as always "wait and see."

Once we're all dressed and have shed the tell tale signs we've just had sex, we go downstairs to properly greet my parents.

"Well if it isn't the golden boy!" My mother yells to us. The nickname was given to him when he officially became the one boy I spent all my time with. Alex's golden boy. He's always my golden boy, and I'm the girl that he enjoys.

"How's it going at school Jason?" Jason shrugged and responded "Passing, getting by, you know..." Which his response every time someone asks him how school is going. My mother turned to my Father and exclaimed. "Isn't he a gifted son!" Another one of their jokes, ha.


	2. Chapter 2

Nothing changed that summer. I don't know why I thought it would. Same Jason, same old mind games. I don't understand why he thinks he has to do this, has to pretend, kiss me and then run off to whatever Samantha, Kate or Amanda is calling this week. When is he going to tell me he loves me? That he's always loved me, since he first saw me. When are we going to have our sparks flying, never-even-think about being with someone else moment? Do I have to keep waiting while he does whatever he wants with whoever he wants? I shudder thinking about what happens to him when I'm away at school, all the drunk girls that surround him at parties. Is he thinking about Alex Russo then? Despite how much it hurts. I have to stick around, and show him I'll always be around, be the one to take care of him, the one that tells him how it is, and what to do when he messes up, the one he wakes up to. I just have to wait for him to realize I'm the one.

I sigh as I pack my last bag into the car, He didn't even come to say goodbye, I guess he never really does we have our own friends, live on our own. Maybe he was busy, or maybe I'm just not the kind of girl he wants me to be. I just thought this Summer would finally be our time. He'd stop sending me these mixed signals and I'd finally be able to read him, though it's funny I always liked his mind, the way he could explain things, his beautiful philosophies and just the way he worked. Shit, this whole thing is crushing me. I don't know how much more I can take.

I jam my keys in the ignition, No matter how much he hurts me, I go back with hopes he's going to change his mind, I hold him so high up, he is my golden boy, and what am I to him? I'm just the girl whose heart he destroys. He smiles and me and I melt, he's always just having fun. Still, I'm definitely not just another girl, how could I be? I have to give him another try and hope that he'll see that I'm the one.


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't expect him to actually call me, thinking back on it today, most of me wishes he hadn't.

He called last night just as I was getting in from class, I was over-joyed to see his number on the caller-ID, stupid me. I answered in a cheery voice.

"Hello?"

"Alex, hi." He said quietly, he never used my first name, I should have known something was up.

"What's up Jay?"

"I've been thinking about what we talked about last time I saw you, what we've always talked about."

My heart pounded in my chest, this was it, I just always thought it would be a face-to-face thing, but with Jason you take what you can get.

"Y-yeah?" I stammered in response.

"Yeah, look Alex, I'm afraid...I'm scared to death of getting too close to you, to any one person." He paused and I heard him take a breath. "You want to just, keep on doing what we're doing, and see how it goes?"

I could not believe it. He was calling me, getting my hopes up just to crush them in seconds. This was his permanent way of putting me off, his final excuse. Afraid? Jason wasn't afraid of anything.

"I don't know what to say...I just can't anymore Jason." I hastily snapped my phone shut. I was too shocked to even cry. He was my best friend and everything I wanted, I invested so much time in him, and he calls me with some pathetic excuse about getting too close? Didn't he see how I threw myself into him head first every second? Yet for some reason I wasn't the one that was afraid, I always thought he'd realize. Stupid me.


	4. Chapter 4

I didn't hear from Jason for a long while, I don't think I could have made the progress I did if he hadn't stopped calling. I wrote songs about him, notebooks full. It was the only way to get the words out, I didn't have anyone else to talk to, I avoided most chances at making other friends to devote all my time to school and Jason. I regret that now.

I did meet a few people, when I started to preform my songs at my college's coffee shop, it was mostly just girls telling me they knew where I was coming from. I doubt they could have, I doubt anyone's heart has ever been this broken. I'm playing again tonight, it's kind of hard to feel excited when all your songs are about the same boy that has broken you.

I listened intently to the first few performances, most of them were pretty good, aside from the girl who forgot her own lyrics and improvised, which resulted in her singing some pretty ridiculous lyrics, it was good for a laugh, but she'll probably never live it down.

When it finally came time for me to do my set, I felt a little more jittery than usual and I couldn't seem to figure out why until I looked out into the crowd, right in the middle of the audience 7th seat 7th row, sat Jason.

My heart fell to my feet, how was I supposed to croon about the boy who'd done me so wrong when he was sitting right in front of me? I forced my hands to play the notes on the piano, took a deep breath and sang out as best as I could.

I made it through all 5 songs with messing up or giving in to the quiver in my throat. It wasn't my best performance and it wasn't my worst. I did not stop to talk to Jason and he respected the distance. I couldn't help but look back at him though, and when our eyes locked I could see that he sees what I've known for so long, since that first day. He looked so melancholy, sad that could be so lonely without me and so wrong for all that time.


	5. Chapter 5

I've driven this path a million times, it never took so long to get home_. "You're just going home to get your stuff." _I told myself, but I knew it wasn't true, there was an underlying reason. A big one.

When I finally arrived home, The house was empty, like I'd hoped. I went up to my room, it was weird going in there alone after being away for so long, Jason had almost always been with me. I couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic. I grabbed the few remaining things from my dresser and closet and shoved them into the bag I'd brought with me, I wouldn't be home for a while now. I shuffled down the stairs and to my car and threw my things in the backseat . I sighed and started the engine down the route I had gone many times, to a house I knew very well by now.

As I pulled in the driveway I didn't get the same feeling that it used to bring me, instead I felt nervous and panicked. I allowed myself one deep breath before getting out of the car. I hurried and rang the doorbell, one thing did stay the same, the sound still made my heart race, and as afraid as I was, I knew I had to do this. I couldn't end it without looking him in the eye, I wasn't a coward like him.

"Alex." He said as he pulled the door open.

"Hi." I replied. "Jason."

"Alex I-"

"I just came to say..." I cut him off "That I moved, I transferred colleges. Pretty far away actually."

He didn't say anything else, but I could tell by the look on his face that he didn't approve. Oddly enough, this didn't affect me the way it would have 6 months ago. I didn't have to plan my life around pleasing him. The silence and the look on his face were enough for me to make the words come out.

"Jason, you'll always be my golden boy, and I'll still be that _summer_ girl that you enjoy." His face fell even more with those last words, and with that I turn and walk straight down his path withing looking back. I don't need to hear it, I don't need him to tell me I'm the one. I reach my hand in my jeans pocket and feel the unfinished song I wrote for him, some melodies are better left undone. I jump in my car and head off to start over at my new college and I think to myself with no regret. _"You'll never know that I was the one"_


End file.
